TWO MONTHS IN

...and still no visit. Unfortunately for us, the caseworker for our new little one is on a leave of absence. So things have been crawling since we've completed all of our paperwork. She was supposed to be back yesterday, but I don't think that happened. So my caseworker (who is awesome) said she'd do a little more legwork to see if she can at least get us a visit before the holidays. Given that I am a teacher, my time right now is not extremely crucial. Trying to get anything of vast significance done in the week before the break is a big order. We're doing okay, but if I had to bail to go for a visit, I wouldn't feel terribly about it. Then, of course, I have two weeks off of prime time that I could be using to help with whatever needs to be done. So I'm hoping that we can convince SOMEONE that a visit would make a lot of sense.

I feel like crying, but I'll save that for later. I think I've been doing pretty well for the past two months, but now we're just sitting and waiting, and I'm back to feeling helpless again. All I can do is advocate for "my son" and try to get him a family for Christmas. If God can send His son all the way to earth for Christmas, He is certainly capable of sending mine home. But whether or not that is His will is a different story all together. So I wait, and I trust, and I hope. Tuesdays are difficult in some ways, because I get off work earlier and have the whole afternoon by myself. I have plans to go to the Y, do laundry, Christmas cards, wrap gifts, etc. But I will likely also take a nap and try to waste away some of that almost-eternal-seeming emptiness.

Hopefully I'll have a more uplifting post soon.