Sunday, January 18, 2009
TWO BROTHERS MEET
Yesterday, Cameron and Kani were able to meet at last. It really went quite well. Kani seemed quick to understand Cameron, and was not afraid to lead him around. It was funny to see, as Cameron is used to being "head honcho." But Cameron was pretty willing to go along with whatever was suggested.
We gave Kani the little photo album that I had made for him. It has pictures of each of us, and also some of the house. We got a chance to talk about some of the questions he had (about what he's allowed to bring with him, what his room is going to be like, etc.)
We went to Burger King and the Dollar Tree. The boys were both a little hesitant about the indoor play yard at Burger King. But they came around. Kani, at one point, told us he wasn't having fun that day. I told him it was too bad-that sometimes we had to go out to lunch, play on a playground, and just buck it up.
When we went to the Dollar Tree, Kani wanted to check out other things on different aisles. He said, "Come down here - I just want to see what's down here." A woman was walking by us at the moment, and apparently got a kick out of the way Kani was pleading his case. She smiled toward me with a knowing mom-to-mom look and said, "Yeah Mom, he just wants to see what's down there." Wow! She didn't even skip a beat in assuming I was his Mom. It just truly floored me, and warmed my heart.
We spent some more time at Kani's place in the afternoon. I started to read a book aloud, and both boys eventually joined me. Kani snuggled up to me, which of course made me very happy. Later, he came and sat on my lap (while sucking his thumb) and we had a chance to talk about some of the other things that he had expressed some anxiety about. I told him that we'd try to get some pictures of his friends to put up by his new bed, so that he could see them when he was missing them. He rubbed my arms, and it was definitely a moment. It was especially hard to leave Kani behind today, as we headed to Eric's sister's house. We'll be back for another visit tomorrow (I think we're going to the zoo with the nurse, who has a pass). I'll get to see Kani on Tuesday at school. I also have a meeting with the social workers on Tuesday to talk through the details of the transition home. Then it's a 3.5 hour drive home to pick up the dog and head straight to our infant/child CPR class (a requirement before Kani can stay overnight at our house). I'm hoping that we might just have one more visit here and then Kani can start his visits at our place.
This adoption is healing my heart in so many ways. These multiple opportunities to meet Kani and get to know him and try out our parental ways on him while there are others with us to let us know if he's working the charm or otherwise really helps us feel "ready" to accept this challenge. It's certainly going to take us awhile to get back into a routine, but we're much further ahead with Kani than we were with Cameron. So we're ready to go. This process has been particularly helpful for Eric, who likes to have a little more time to prepare himself for what we're getting into. This is the first time that I've seen Eric become so attached to a kid so soon. I think it helps that we don't have to "reserve" ourselves from feeling too much, as we don't have to worry about the foster-care thing when he might not be able to stay. We can just love on him right away, and know that he's already a part of our family. Because he's never really had a family, he's allowed to love us back without fear of hurting biological parents or foster parents, or otherwise. We'll still be able to maintain the relationships he's created with his care providers -- most of whom have known him for most of his life! All together, I'm amazed at this not-so-traditional adoption. We know how fortunate we are to be experiencing things in this way! Bring it on!
Posted by Katie at 8:40 AM