Dress Up

Even boys like to play dress-up. I crack up when I see these pictures, and applaud myself for picking up the day-after Halloween costumes solely for this purpose. What's particularly funny is how COOL they think they are when they're dressed up like this!!

Birthday

It's been over a month since Cameron turned seven. Guess I should post a picture.



His birthday was a stressful day. Indeed, April was a pretty stressful month. But things are slowly getting into a better rhythm and we're starting to enjoy some time together. We know to expect the ups and downs in adoption. But when you go through it again and again and again you kind of think...can we just be done with this already?

Anyway, like I said, Cameron is seven. SEVEN! I can hardly believe it. He's actually got his first loose tooth (nevermind that Kani has already lost at least six teeth, and is younger). He still does not have his six year molars (Kani got those sealed up at his March dental appointment). And we're still working on the night-time pull-ups (Kani has been dry for the past three nights - he's made a deal with Eric, supposedly). But, as Eric pointed out tonight, there ARE things that Cameron is "better" at than Kani. Like using a quiet voice. Or dribbling a basketball. Or following directions (for the most part). He's starting to read (which is still shocking the pants off of me) and can "count on." He hasn't lost his innocence - not sure he ever will. He prefers to listen to "Muffin Man" and other children's songs, though he's learning all about Hip-Hop. I was really starting to worry about our summer together, but found out that Cameron qualifies for a summer program that will give him some much needed structured time, and will give me a little reprieve here and there. So I'm cautiously optimistic that we WILL survive this summer ;)

Ticked Off

Saturday, we went "fishing." The boys all went with Ginger for a walk. Last night, we found two ticks on Cameron and one on Kani (none on me or Eric, or even the dog - thank goodness! I would have flipped out - I've never had one). Eric removed the intruders at bathtime, and I - ever documenting our family fun - took a picture. Then I bagged 'em up - just in case.



These are the two bigger ones that we got. There was also one small one that we're a bit concerned with that was on Cameron's thigh. We'll be keeping a close eye on all the spots, to be sure.

Huh?

Can someone take a moment to remind me again why adopting kids is such a great idea? I just read a blog of a new foster parent who is just coming off her first respite placement. And I envy her that it's just her and her husband again.

Having kids changes things. Everyone knows that. So many people glorify parenting as the be all/end all goal in life. But is it, really? Certainly many people have bought into this. When people find out they can't have children, crazy stuff happens. When people decide they just don't want kids, people think there's something wrong with them.

My mom had a friend who openly admitted that she didn't like kids. My mother made the mistake of telling us kids that - so we never cared much for Cindy, either. I didn't understand it. How can you not like kids? Everyone has been a kid at one point. I think I understand now.

I'm a teacher. But I don't love kids. I love helping someone learn something that they didn't know before. I LOVED teaching adults because if they didn't want to be there, they just didn't come to class. I hate trying to convince people that they should care about what you are trying to teach. And isn't that what parenting is all about?

Tomorrow Cameron turns 7. He's been with us for just about three years now. And he still annoys me to no end on most days. Ouch. Seriously. He has his cute moments, don't get me wrong. But still. I've now known Kani for three months. And I'm gloriously happy when he goes to sleep at night.

My life now revolves mainly around my boys and their needs. I am good at coordinating their schedules, helping them with homework, and planning fun things for them to do. But somewhere along the way, I've forgotten what it was like before they came along. What did I do when I didn't have two other human beings dependent upon me for so many details of their life? When I didn't have so much laundry constantly staring at me? When I didn't have to consider going back to color-coding my day timer to keep track of everyone's schedule?

And I remember that when Cameron first came, I was overwhelmed with his appointments (he had about six different caretakers who were in and out of the house at all times). And I remember that this, too, will pass. We'll get into a rhythm. We'll find our own niches. And maybe, just maybe I can find my way back to my husband again. I know he's around here somewhere.

End of March

Well, a lot has happened since the beginning of Spring Break, which is why it has taken me so long to update this blog! Mid-week Spring Break found me taking Kani out of school and taking both boys to my sister's house (nine hours away). Kani got to meet his cousins. Eric got to have the house to himself. And I didn't have to be alone with the boys at home (change of scenery is always nice).

This week has been crazy. I had five appointments this week! We have some services set up for school (well, at least we're one step closer). We're updated at the dentist. We've done our pre-op appointment for the microlaryngoscopy/bronchoscopy in April and we've begun our transition services. So it's all good. I think we "just" have three appointments next week ;)

In other news, we got a call from the caseworker. She said she received the copy of our "intent to adopt" paperwork which was filed by our lawyer. She also said that the lawyer mentioned getting a finalization date of May or June, possibly. I'll believe it when I see it - that's two or three months sooner then we were anticipating!

Things here are evening out. Kani is getting used to our routines. His physical aggression is decreasing and he is starting to behave better at school. He's big into crafts just now. I'm hoping to get him into some kind of arts and crafts activity over the summer. We'll see what's available locally. Both boys will participate in sports camp at church again this year. And they'll both go to the VBS at Cameron's Great Aunt's church. I've planned our vacation to go to Kentucky. We're going to visit my cousin and her family (they're adopting, too!) and do a bit of camping. Should be fun - and interesting to see how the boys handle "roughing it."

Right now, it's time to go down to the Y and pick Cameron up from his "Kids' Night Out." Kani couldn't go, due to a physically aggressive choice he made earlier this evening :( Have a great weekend.

One Small Step

It's Spring Break here - for me. Kani has school this week, and I put Cameron in a couple days of day care. What a smart choice THAT was. I had a doctor's appointment today, and the rest of the day was spent making phone calls. We got Kani's insurance changed over, which means that I'm now able to schedule the five appointments for him that are needed. I got four scheduled today - and one was even able to get us in today! That appointment lasted an hour and a half, but hopefully will get some supports in place to help Kani continue to be successful (specifically, in school).

I've been very grateful for our adoption support network, whose director is likely my best friend and is so helpful. When I called her last week crying "may-day! may-day! I'm losing my mind!" she helped me pull a plan together to get through this more difficult transitioning time of the adoption process. It's not that Kani's behaviors have gotten any worse, it's just that MY honeymoon has ended. I was feeling sick last week (I must have done something to a rib while coughing, because it now feels like it's poking into my lung, which is just now feeling better) and was irritable for many reasons, including that it was the week before Spring Break and I had lots of loose ends to tie up at work and at home, etc. She didn't bat an eyelash or start trying to figure out what was wrong or what was causing it. She just helped me make a plan, which was exactly what I needed at that moment. There aren't many people who know how to help. This is why the support of other adoptive parents is SO necessary for all of our success!

Two More

Sometimes I ask Kani to do something. To indicate that he understands he says, "I've got you, Mommy." But the other day he added a little something. It ended up like this:

"Okay, Mommy. I've got you. I've got your back!"
I nearly died.

Tonight as we were struggling through the difficult task of learning how to write the letter "e" in its various forms (didn't I just go through this with Cameron??? -- I did! Sigh.) Kani remarked, "I can't sit properly." No kidding! The kid had more moves than a squirrel in traffic.

Now it's time for Mommy to get away to her swimming class. My attendance is much improved this session. Can't imagine why :) It's good to get out. And it makes our bedtime roles so much clearer to know that Mondays and Wednesdays are Daddy's nights and Tuesdays and Thursdays are (for the most part) Mommy's nights--except for tomorrow night, when Eric is letting me go to our old Life Group get-together while he manages the kids - we had a last minute cancellation with our babysitter :( Soon, he'll be in volleyball on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'll be in for awhile!